Cue

A cue is whatever starts the loop: boredom at 11 p.m., loneliness after an argument, the phone in the hand in bed. Cues are rarely sexual. They are usually a state you want to leave. Learning your actual cues, by writing them down after each urge, is the first practical skill on the path.

The cue is also the cheapest place to break the loop, because a cue that never fires leaves no urge to resist. Outside cues, like the phone in the bedroom or the hour alone, can be removed. Inside cues, like boredom or loneliness, cannot, but they can be caught early and answered for what they are: sleep for tiredness, a person for loneliness.