Quitting
What to do when an urge hits
A five-step sequence for the next ten minutes, in the order to do them, for the moment reading is not enough.
You are in it now, so this is short.
- Stand up and leave the room you are in. The body first.
- Put the phone down somewhere you have to walk to. If you are reading this on it, that is fine: finish this list, then put it face down.
- Breathe four in, six out, for ninety seconds. Count them.
- Drink a glass of water. Cold, if there is cold.
- Do the next ordinary thing: dishes, a walk, a message to a friend about nothing.
The urge will still be there, smaller. That is what passing feels like. It is not the absence of the urge; it is the urge no longer being in charge.
Keep reading
Not morality. Attention, relationships and hours. What the evidence supports about heavy, compulsive use, and what it does not.
The hardest conversation on the path, prepared: what to say, what not to promise, and how to listen to the answer.
How to stop watching pornography: decide once, remove the cues that start it, let urges pass, plan for a slip, then judge thirty days for yourself.